Saturday, November 28, 2015

Four Years Later

It is hard to believe that four years have passed.   Today marks the end of Thomas' two week anniversary......and it brings with it sadness, sweet memories, and a sense of relief.  These two weeks are exhausting to me.  

We took Turner and Emmaline out to the cemetery on Thomas' birthday and again today.  They are so cute.....they shout "Baby Thomas!!" when we get there and run around giggling. (Meanwhile I'm cringing and hoping we don't offend anyone.)   They know their brother's name and point out pictures of him around the house....."baby Thomas......big brother."  It is precious. 

It is important to me that Turner and Emmaline know about their big brother.  His little life has impacted so many of us, and I'm so thankful for that.  I know I'm a different parent than I would have been otherwise.   I hope I'm a better mother.  I probably worry too much and take too many pictures, but I'm also more patient and grateful.  I think it has made me a better doctor and a more compassionate friend.   

I love tangible reminders of my son's, hearing his name, his booties and stuffed owl in the nursery....even subtle things like realizing I would have responded to a situation differently "before" Thomas.  

God is truly able to use all things for our good and His glory.  

Colossians 1:10-12 (The Message)
"Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works.  We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard.  As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work.  We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul-- not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives.  It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us."