2011 has changed our family forever.
We had Thomas for 41 weeks last year. I carried him for 39 weeks, and we were able to love on him for fourteen days. We experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows through our sweet baby, and we will never be the same.
I have always heard "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matthew 5:4 NIV), but I have never really understood what it meant. Now I think I am starting to get it.
The Message version of the same verse says this: "You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you."
According to the cliff notes in my Life Application Bible, "'Blessed' means more than happiness...'blessed' means the experience of hope and joy, independent of outward circumstances."
I wish things had happened differently with Thomas. I wish more than anything that he was still here. Losing Thomas hurts, and I will miss him every day for the rest of my life.
While these awful circumstances could have left us bitter, miserable, and ruined.....they haven't.
We are grateful to have been given that time with Thomas. Through God's grace we have been able to experience hope and joy in the midst of our crisis. The Lord has bound my heart to His like never before over the past six months. We are already noticing some healing in our hearts, and we are hopeful that 2012 will bring more of that. We are looking forward to what the new year holds.
"Come near to God and he will come near to you."(James 4:8 NIV)